A Promise

All I heard was a loud bang.

And there was bright white light. I tried to open my eyes, but I realized they were already open. I looked around but it was just the whiteness everywhere. I put up my hands to look at them, but there weren't any. I could feel my hands moving, I tried to feel my feet, but I couldn't feel the ground, like I was floating. Before I could question myself, the whiteness started to fade, and a humanoid silhouette began to form in front of me. A man was right across me, and when I started to look around again, I noticed I was seated on a chair, felt like a soft chair, but the ones that made you sit up. That man was seated as well, and we were separated by a table, with tea cups on them. That man put out his hand and said, "I've been looking forward to our meeting, son. A pity I had to wait till you're dead."

I'm dead?

"That's right son, but only in the body. You're very much alive talking to me now."

How did I die? Who're you? I can't see your face. Where am I? Is this Heaven?

"Be still. And know."

Where am I?

He put out his hand to his right, and made a slow waving motion. The whiteness began to clear and there was the landscape of Singapore.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

I focused first onto my neighborhood, peaceful and quiet on a Sunday afternoon. Then I looked onto the city, bustling with life and activity, and then I realized...

Nothing's changed.

I'm dead, and the city... looks the same.

"As far as the world knows, you're no longer in it. But it keeps turning."

Yeah I guess... Certain things.

"Humble you?"

Well, I was gonna say really disappointing and also pissing me off, but yeah...

"Was hoping to have made an impact stronger than this?"

I can hope...

"Let me show you something."

He put out his hand again, and waved the same motion, and the landscape began to fade into one I cannot recognize. Everything looked ancient, there were carts and people were dressed in robes, it was mainly a brown landscape.

"This is where I used to live. Everything looked normal as well, people were going about their daily routine, the city is bustling with life as well."

"But this was the 2nd day after the Crucifixion."

I didn't how to react. This was a Savior, a miracle-working man, a teacher, who died for all of Mankind. And Mankind himself did not seem to have any form of mourning for him.

"Am I supposed to be provoked into thinking that they were ungrateful? That I expected some form of return and acknowledgment for the things that I've done?"

"There is no need to be recognized in everything that you've done or contributed to society. I didn't need that. I had a job to do, and amidst the trials and tribulations, the disappointments and frustrations, I did it."

But what kept you going? Why did you still come back on the third day when you know nothing's changed?

"Because I made a promise."

"A promise to love."

Without a fight

You have to fight your way through the day 


to get to the night.


Then after the night,


You have to fight your way through the day.

Beauty in the Breakdown

"This was never thankful and glorious to even begin with in the first place..."
These words were etched deeply into my heart. 


A man's got to do what a man's got to do. You will never hear a word of thanks or a pat on a shoulder. Yes, I may be yearning for it, but this is all part of the deal. 


I have to admit that I am physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually stretched. There are some days, I may wake up on the wrong side of the bed, but You will always make sure that I will sleep on the right side of the bed every night.


Well for now, I'll just look forward to my Rite of Passage.  

Iridescent

The surface may seem so calm, yet it is not until when you dive deep that you experience the wrath of the current.
This breaking point is like a ticking time bomb, it may be triggered at some point, and all hell will break loose.


Yes life for you has been less than kind.
You build up hope, but failures all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go.


We've all been sorry.
We've all been hurt.
But how we survive, is what makes us who we are.

Someone, somewhere

"And by midafternoon he was again overcome with desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else."

- Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated